A Little Bit Of Heaven On Earth

    
      A lot can change in a year...a YEAR...we were offline for that long, ladies! Life gets really busy and really hectic and somehow changes happen rapidly in that time!


      Last night my husband and I were perusing Target...grocery shopping at 9 o 'clock at night. As I was walking the isles, I kept thinking about all of the changes that I have coming up. My cardigan wrap was snug around my belly and the tie doesn't accentuate my waist like it was intended to...it now accentuates the growing bump and ties just under my chest. I was wondering how in the world I am going to handle all of the changes...when I read the book of my life, what is OUR story of becoming parents going to have written down? There are worries and fears and hopes and dreams and always the picture of what you want it to be like (but rarely ever is). I was rapid-firing out the negative thoughts. And then we walked by the baby girl isle...you know the one with the newborn outfits, receiving blankets and pacifiers in pink and lavender? And my heart melted. I get to be a MOTHER. A real-life MOTHER!


     I've always wanted to be a mom. Since I was a little girl. I had cabbage patch doll after cabbage patch doll...mostly matching twins sets with my sister. They even had names. Chloe and...hmm...I'm sure the other one was a beautiful name...


     Our old neighbor visited the other day with her three week old baby, Hudson. She let me hold him and I stared and stared at him. For the first time ever, I wasn't thinking, "One day I'll have a baby just like this." That "one day" is here! I actually get to have my very own baby...in a handful of short months! My very own. With her unique smell and features that I made with my husband! Isn't that magical? I can feel her move...sometimes quite intensely. It's no longer a guessing game if that was her or indigestion. It's her alright! And I can finally look back over the past year and realize how wonderful our Heavenly Father is in his perfect planning. I miss my job intensely...but I have a new job now. An eternal job. It doesn't come with a bi-monthly paycheck, or vacation benefits and sick time. It's sometimes lonely, especially since I love people so much (I would be the weirdo that would work at the DMV and actually like my job). But it's more important than ANY other job. And the world will never be able to convince me otherwise.


     I have time. I didn't have time before. Time to think about what I'm craving and actually MAKE breakfast. Time to clear my mind on a walk. Time to talk to her and sing to her. And write about growing her. It's a special season of life. And I am doing my best to soak it all in. Because the next one will also be special, but it won't be our first. And that "time" I'm talking about? I won't have such a generous portion then. I can't imagine only doing this once...I mean, the first time I saw her profile on the ultrasound screen, I turned to my husband and proudly proclaimed that we are, "doing this twelve more times!" The tech laughed. And he nodded with a huge grin. I love seeing him love her.


     We finished up our grocery shopping at Winco. Yes, THAT late at night. It was our thrill for the week...danger, danger! It didn't take long and we were both sleepy as we wheeled toward the checkout stand. As I was bagging groceries, I heard a really soft voice ask, "what are you having?" I almost fainted! Who was the angel who said that? I jolted my eyes up at her, threw up my hands, did a small dance (I forgot where I was for a second...you should have seen my husbands face) and proclaimed, "A girl! You can tell?!" The first time a stranger recognized that I am pregnant! A milestone for every mom...And my story says it happened at 10 0'clock at night, February 3rd 2014, at the checkout stand, bagging groceries, in Winco.