2/27-2/31
I'm only going to be talking about our menu for the weekdays this week. Here it is, in a nutshell:
*Sour Cream dolloped Cheese Enchilada's with Spanish rice sprinkled with cilantro
*Annie's Mac n Cheese and green fries (canned green beans)
*Avocado and shrimp sushi rolls or bowls, with that pink yummy sauce (of course)
*German pancakes with strawberry syrup and sausage patties
*Homemade pizza--probably olive and chicken or something
And that is that. I'm tired. Really tired. Sore as all get out too. We are getting our yard ready for a larger-than-normal garden this season, and that was no small task over the weekend. Oh, the pain. Let's pray for some rain so I don't have to watch my precious poopsies (veggie plants) shrivel up and die in the heat this summer. Today the kids and I planted some seeds and are going to hope for some adorable seedlings in 12-16 days. Baby plants. So precious. So tender. So vulnerable. We planted lavender, tomatoes, brussel sprouts, anaheim peppers, jalepenos, bulb onions, and basil. We need to sow some seeds right in the dirt (zucchini, watermelon, string beans and some other random things that we just have to watch grow). I've decided to stagger plantings this year. In a couple of weeks we will start more of the same seeds and then a couple weeks later we will plant more. So we will stagger our transplants over about 6 weeks. This way we won't get bombarded with roughly 12 million tomatoes, 500 onions and 250 giant zucchini all at once. The plan is to do some canning with our loot this year. I technically know how to can, but every single time I do it is overwhelming because I just don't do it enough. So, anyone who wants to *ahem* "practice their canning skills" is welcome to invite themselves on over on any canning day I plan. ;-) I hope to get some bread and butter pickles put away as well as strawberry freezer jam. It would be really fun to get a little strawberry patch flourishing. Obviously there are some lofty homesteading dreams floating around this little house right now. One day at a time. Seeds are started so now it's time to dial in the drip system and finish up the tilling of the dirt.
Maybe you are wondering if I'm staying busy to distract myself right now. To that I say, "You bet your sweet pippy!!" All of my focus and energy was being directed at growing that baby only a short 8 weeks ago and changing gears is not so easy. Add the hormone cocktail to that and I desperately needed a change of focus. I lay in bed at night and mentally remodel and/or redecorate each room in the house, one at a time. I wish you all could see how beautiful this house is in my head around midnight. :-) Beautiful changes! After the surgery I wanted everything different. Every familiarity was a reminder. Really dark time right there. Emotionally I am doing much better and it doesn't hurt as much, so that's a good thing. But it is part of me now. And I think that is a good thing too. It doesn't come up much anymore with the kids. That's probably good too. When it does come up they refer to it as "the dead baby" or "the baby that died." I read a few articles on helping kids cope with these things and they all suggested naming the baby. Psychologically that gives the experience a place in the family and personalizes the loss. Legitimizes the experience. I figured I probably can't screw my kids up anymore than I already have so we decided to name that baby. He/she will now be referred to as Zane (possibly Zana "if it is a girl and she doesn't like the name Zane"-Jake) Parker Lloyd Titone. Zane Parker Lloyd Titone. I thought it was beautiful and fitting. Ashley and Ben bought me a beautiful necklace as a memento to remember Zane Parker Lloyd by. It says, "Until I hold you in heaven, I will hold you in my heart." It is a round pendant and has two teeny tiny footprints in the center of it. It is beautiful and perfect. And life, though not easy, is beautiful and perfect as well. And I am going to enjoy what I DO have here and now and I am going to change what I want to change and I'm going to can veggies, and smash strawberries and pickle cucumbers because I can. And I'm going to enjoy the crap out of every minute because this minute will never pass by here again.
Stef
